I know that it's right that we are here in Kansas. Just last Sunday as I sat through an amazing Relief Society lesson I was feeling so grateful for the opportunity I have been given to have this experience. To be outside my comfort zone and feeling lonely and insecure yet knowing that these people that I am just getting to know are so kind and good and I only hope that as I spend more time with them that somehow some of that can rub off on me. They are strong and beautiful and I just feel like I can learn so much from them. That is just one of the reasons I am happy to be here. There are many others and I feel very blessed, but still I have a lot of guilt.
My poor Spencer. I want to give him the kind of wonderful childhood that I had with friends and neighbors to play with. Unfortunately we seem to have landed in an area where 3 year old boys are scarce. There are some in the ward but they live so far away. They have lives and friends and preschool groups already established. I can tell he is bored and just wants friends. Today he way yelling at the older boys across the street who where busy playing Pokemon, " Hey boys, I have sidewalk chalk!" He got so happy when they came over for a minute to talk to us but almost cried when they left a few minutes later to finish their game. It leaves me wondering how I raise a well adjusted kid who is happy when I just don't feel like I can give him what he needs. It Utah I know what I would do. Here I feel helpless. Yet I know this is where we are supposed to be and so I will do my best to help him be happy but mostly right now I just feel guilty that I can't give him what he really wants.
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9 comments:
I'm sorry it's hard for Spencer. It will get better. I kind of think having experiences like he is having now can only help in the whole growing up as a well adjusted person thing. I wish I could send some friends his way. Poor little guy.
Oh that breaks my heart BUT I know you will figure it out! You could find a couple classes for him locally...at a rec center or something? You know what? You are probably having a harder time than Spencer is! You're a good mom and will figure things out for him!
That's so tough, Melis. Just remember you're doing what you can with the situation you're in and there's no reason to feel guilty. And Spencer is so lucky that he has a fun little brother to play with, as well as the awesomest parents ever! And family is the most important. He'll be 4 in a couple months right? Is there a preschool around you could start him in come Fall?
Summer is coming which means playing in the great outdoors. Take him to the local parks. Kids are incredible at making instant friends. Heck, you are one of the funnest people I know . . . he couldn't ask for a better friend than you!
Oh, that post makes me sad! It's so heartbreaking when one of your kids is genuinely sad and almost cries, or does cry. You are a great mom, don't feel guilty! Good thing he has Owen. Do they play together yet? King and Odan are just barely being able to play together, but mostly they just pick on each other. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, maybe your boys will be closer to each other than if they had their own friends?
Aww, that makes me feel like crying. I kind of know how you feel. Cole calls out to kids all the time and wants them to come over. The poor little kid is so lonely.
I'm such a hypocrite because I say stuff like "don't forget that those feelings of guilt don't come from Heavenly Father" but I let those same feelings of guilt rule my life too. maybe there is a library reading group that you could join?
Oh, Melissa!!! I know how you feel and its yucky feeling. But it will get better. I agree with Kayleen, a preschool will help, if you can find one that won't charge you an arm and a leg! And you take him to the library, so that is good!!
My kids struggled for a while, until they were able to start school. I won't lie, it took a little while! They had TONS of friends in Utah and NONE in our neighborhood.
But the ward had park days and swim days. The kids played on soccer and basketball teams. Swim lessons and library days. And just making friends who you can have a play dates with! Give it a little more time! Spencer will adjust and he won't remember the sidewalk chalk fiasco! I promise!!!
Hang in there Sis! I think the biggest shock of moving out of Utah, is the lack of friends for our kids to play with. But trust me, they are out there, they just aren't around the corner! You get to drive your new car to go find them! :)
Keep your head up!! It WILL get easier!!! :) Love ya!!!
You're breakin my heart girl. I really miss having you in Logan. I drove up there last week and it was totally devoid of any enjoyment, other than remembering the fun times had there with you guys and Nate and Mae and families.
You'll do great, you are a good Mom.
I love your little family loads.
When we moved to Wyoming, Abbie had a really hard time. It was so bad that she looked forward to when Jon and Kate +8 was on after her nap cause the kids on the show were the only ones she would see all week. They were her "friends". Sad Huh?
It just takes time. It feels like this for the first little while, but you'll get into play groups and preschools and sports teams, etc. He'll make friends and parents will invite you to functions and it will turn around.
Until then just make it fun to be at home. Find some extra crafts to do together, let him help you around the house, baking, even find some adventures to do outside. Just keep him busy and it makes the time go by quickly. If you need any ideas, just let me know. Been there, felt like that!
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